Week 1 (click here) Week 2 (below) Week 3 (click here) Week 4 (click here)
Week 2, Day 1: Thursday, October 31, 2002, Halloween
Since this is the start of Week 2, this is actually Day 8, but I think in order to keep this manageable, I'll re-start the numbering for each week as it starts. Then, perhaps, it'll seem less daunting when I get up to the zillionth day... All psychological games....again... I'm finding just how long it had been since I really dieted. I'd forgotten calorie amounts in some of the foods I used to eat and had to get out the calorie-counter books again. Funny, in a sick sort of way, how menu ideas start coming back for dieting purposes...like Denver sandwiches. Routinely ate them on diets, but not so routinely off. So, back to them, and THOSE ingredients I could remember w/o looking up. 'Course these days, vs. say in the 1970s when I'd be counting calories, is much much easier, because packaged foods and even fast food places have calories posted almost everywhere. That's kinda nice and helps with that anal quality I have when I'm counting calories to be absolutely exact. As if 10 oz. of V8 diet Berry Blend Splash would make a big difference from 8 oz. That's only about 4 calories, so mathematically and physically, it shouldn't matter much/at all, but we all know what a number this all does on my mind, my spirit, etc. If I "cheated", which meant going over 800 calories a day by even one or two, then I know it would throw me into a tail spin and I'd get back into all those old, ugly patterns. Each day as I see the potential of that happening and all the old feelings and thoughts that accompany dieting flare up, it just feels largely unhealthful psychically, but it also feels like I'm losing weight. I MUST be, of course, but I haven't weighed yet, so I don't really know. Don't know if I mentioned it or not, but my plan is to go until Thanksgiving morning, which conveniently enough is precisely five weeks after I started this, and then I shall weigh myself. I'm hoping for major weight loss, of course, but I'm also EXPECTING a fair amount. If not at least ten pounds, then I'm going to be really pissed and will most likely just give up entirely. Even at the deadest metabolism and my weight, not counting any of the ping pong or dog walks or anything else I'm doing, mathematically I should lose 16.5 pounds in these 5 weeks, so we'll see. Notably, today was Halloween and there was candy everywhere, but I didn't eat a single piece. I knew I just couldn't tempt fate. At work we had an Unwinder and there were cookies and pie and more candy; plus, I won the cubicle decorating contest, so tons of people came by and congratulated me, offered me food, etc. Nonetheless, I didn't budge. No candy for me. I even had candy at my desk and at my house for the trick-or-treaters. There were moments when it was hard to resist, but for the most part, it wasn't all that hard. I hadn't had pumpkin pie for several years, though, and I wanted to try some, but it wasn't all that good to me, so I barely ate any. I hated wasting the rest, but there were so many pies, they were GIVING whole pies away, so I didn't feel all that bad about sending the bulk of my piece to the trash. And I was just in the mood for fresh salmon sushi, so I stopped by Fujiyama after work and treated myself to that. It's especially nice to have caloric content figures for sushi from the Internet, so I don't have to guess and worry about having gone over my meager alotment of calories, etc. etc. etc. ad nauseum. Plus, I drank over two liters of water at the sushi restaurant just to help get full. Here's what the day held as far as my food went:
1:30p 1 med-small Fuji apple 60 3:00p couple of bites of pumpkin pie 50 6:30p 2 pieces eel sushi 172 same time 2 pieces salmon sushi 128 same time 8 pieces California Roll 256 same time 2 pieces yellowtail sushi 126 Total: 792
And since it was Halloween and Magic would want to eat the kids' candy and my porchlight burned out two days ago and I was tired from all the decorating and wanted to hide in the dark so no one would know we were home, I just came home, fed Magic, and went upstairs and watched some TV and then went to bed early.
Week 2, Day 2: Friday, November 1, 2002
Guess I was excited to get into work and get stuff done and/or get more accolades for the cube decor, so I didn't sleep very soundly. Ended up just getting up and going in earlier than usual, especially for a Friday. Fridays that are paydays, which this way, have Krispy Kreme donuts and this one had lots of leftover Halloween candy strewn around the office, but I didn't succumb to any of any of it. In reality, though I usually think I like Krispy Kremes, they're soooo sugary and sweet that I usually start eating one and realize how sweet and overpowering it is and then I just feel ill all day, so I saved myself from that this time!
7:45a 6 oz diet V8 Berry Blend Splash 12 8:30-9:00 (driving) 1 mini-box Raisin Bran 130 10:30a 1/2 Fuji apple (other half was spoiled) 30 7:45p 1 Arby's regular Roast Beef (plain) sandwich 353 8:15p 1 cup Kashi puffed cereal 70 same time 1 tsp. sugar (on the Kashi) 15 9:10p 2 saltines 28 9:50p 4 more saltines and 8 oz diet V8 Splash (tropical) 71 11:00p 1 fun-size 3 Musketeers bar 70 Total: 779
The only reason I really ate the chocolate was because I had calories left over.
Week 2, Day 3: Saturday, November 2, 2002
Up early and busy all day at the combat match at Escondido Fish and Game, then Turner's, etc., and didn't get home until around 2:30. Here's what I ate for the day:(The only reason I had the saltines was because I had leftover calories!)
2:45p 1 Albertson's grilled chicken leg 87 same time 1 thigh 118 same time 1/2 breast 154 4:00p 3 Fun Size Snickers bars 225 same time 1 Fun Size 3Musketeers bar 70 4:00p 3 Fun Size Snickers bars 225 later iceberg lettuce, 2 strips green pepper, chopped onion, 5 slices cucumber 40 same time 2 Tb. diet Maple Farms dressing 50 same time 4 saltines 56 Total: exactly 800
Week 2, Day 4: Sunday, November 3, 2002
It's been awhile since I've been able to sleep in, so it was nice to sleep in until the phone rang at 11:30. (Thanks a lot, Tanya.) Had no real plans today except to go to the wildlife art show and benefit for the Animal Friends of the Valley, and then shopping, but why I think I need to be shopping and spending money all the time is beyond me. Not that I really do that all that much, at least not the shopping, but I do buy too many big-ticket items, too frequently, I think. Nonetheless, I ended up eating some of the little finger foods at the reception, but limited it to small pieces of cheese (and very few), vegetables and fruit, one chocolate piece, a couple of crackers and pretzels, and water. It's hard to count calories for that, and I'd already set out some salmon fillet to thaw, so I just added it all up the best I could and forewent the salad and rice and apple I'd planned for the rest of the day, in order to stay under the 800. I was missing Magic and decided I really didn't need to go shopping for things I don't even need/want, so I just came home, took Magic for a walk, and went through some stacks of mail and bills. Then, fixed the nice salmon dinner and here's what all I ended up eating for the day:
noon 8 oz. orange juice 110 1:15p 1 banana 101 2:00p-4:00p (though I held out for a good hour there) samplings of crudites, crackers, pretzels, cheese, and chocolate 200 7:15p 6 oz. microwaved (with lemon, salt, and pepper only) salmon fillet (unspecified type, so since the pink is almost half the calories as Atlantic, Chinook, or King, and there was an entry for "unspecified type" in my calorie book, I used that figure which was closer to the higher end) 310 same time 1 can Green Giant asparagus 70 Total: 791
Week 2, Day 5: Monday, November 4, 2002
The first day I went over 800, but only by 20. I went a little crazy right before bed, eating some not-all-that-tasty mini-graham cracker strips and just ended up giving Magic some and threw the bulk of the rest of the box down the garbage disposal for various reasons. I could feel like a failure for exceeding 800, but I'm trying to keep in it perspective as it was only 20 over, which could easily have been "left over" from previous days when I didn't eat EXACTLY 800, and, after all, it was only 20. That kind of rationalization, though, gets dangerous for me in years of dieting in the past, because then it throws me into a tailspin and I figure I've blown it and then I just give up, etc. Fortunately, this didn't happen the next day. (I know this, because I am writing this a few days later, from my record of food and calories, of course, which I never leave to memory. Interestingly enough, I also noticed that either I've been overcounting my diet V8 Splash, or the Berry Blend flavor of it has a few more calories than the Tropical flavor. But since the latter is all I have left in the house, I can't check against the other; maybe I'll have to go back and revise some higher-than-they-need-to-be totals. I've also gotten nutritional information from the company that makes the sardines I buy, so now I know exactly how many calories are in each version and I can account for those exactly.
8:30a 16 oz. diet V8 Splash (Tropical) 20 9:30a en route to work 53 mini Cheese Nips 150 11:30a 1 banana 101 2:27p 12 oz. watermelon 90 5:00p 1 apple 65 7:30p lettuce and green pepper 30 same time 2 Tb Fat Free Maple Farms salad dressing 50 8:00p 4 slices diet bread 160 same time 2 slices Butterball roasted chicken 60 same time 2 tsp Miracle Whip 40 11:30p 6 Honey Maid cinnamon graham Stix 54 Total: 820
Week 2, Day 6: Tuesday, November 5, 2002
I'm typing this a couple of days later, so can't remember exactly how I felt, but I know after the night before and the 20 extra calories, I planned food ahead, wrote it down, and pretty much kept to it. I ate LOTS of lettuce and drank lots of water to help fill me up, and that seemed to help, since I was able to stay under 800 again and not suffer anything bad from the extra 20 of the day before. Pretty sad indication about how all this dieting does a number on people, though, eh? To get so bent out of shape, worried, hyper, etc. all over 20 calories.... So, for the day:
8:30a 8 oz. diet V8 Splash tropical 10 11:45a 1 banana 101 1:15-2:30p lettuce mix 20 same time 3 Tb Safeway Select Honey Mustard Fat Free dressing 60 7:30p 1 Uncle Ben's Honey Dijon Rice Bowl 400 9:00p 2 slices 2% American Cheese 90 same time 1 wedge Laughing Cow Light cheese 35 same time 2 slices diet bread 80 Total: 796
Week 2, Day 7, end of second week: Wednesday, November 6, 2002
7:45a 8 oz. Tropical diet V8 Splash 10 8:30a enroute to work 1 mini box Frosted Flakes 120 9:30a 1 piece bubble gum 30 12:45p lots of lettuce 30 same time 1 flat can salmon 120 8:15p 2 4-oz. 96% lean Moran's ground beef patties 300 same time 4 slices diet bread (toasted) 160 same time 1 Tb. Ketchup 15 same time 1 Tb. sweet relish 15 Total: exactly 800!
So...the end of another successful week of non-stop dieting, with only one day over 800 calories, and that was just by 20, so not bad.