Week 1 (below)    Week 2 (click here)    Week 3 (click here)    Week 4 (click here)

Day 1:  Thursday, October 24, 2002

Pretty weird for me to be starting a diet on a Thursday and in the middle of a month. Usually this is the sort of thing one does at the beginning of a new year, on a Monday, or the start of a new month. Or a few weeks before a big event, a wedding or a reunion, etc. So, why today? Just because. I have no junk food in the house and it seemed like a good enough day to try again. For the thousandth or many thousandth-time. What new plan will I try this time? What path will I follow this time only to be frustrated and to fail yet again, be deprived, be miserable, and suffer the continued unfairness that is my dead metabolism. Eight hundred calories a day worked in 1989...so maybe it will again. We all know exercise doesn't do it. I've been playing vigorous table tennis at least once a week for three hours for awhile, both at the Sun City club and at work when they had the tables, but that all netted me a weight loss of absolutely nothing. And I've been eating salmon and tuna and veggies and fruits out the wazoo, but again, to no avail. So I guess it's back to the ol' calorie counting. So, this will chronicle my struggle and since I'm going to try to not weigh for a month, in a month when I list my weight and I show that I've lost something more depressing than mathematics and physics should allow, I'll finish this with a "why even bother" epilog. In the rare chance that this is actually successful and I actually do lose the 15 pounds I mathematically should, at 800 calories a day, weighing what I do, and doing NO exercise nor even moving much, or even something meager along the lines of at least not gaining, then we'll see if I continue this. But for now, this is my goal: eat no more than 800 calories a day, do not weigh until Nov. 24, keep track of what and when I eat, and no matter how depressing, how difficult, or how I feel, don't quit this. Then, if after a month of adherence, if it didn't work, I'll just most likely give up dieting forever. Today, as most first days go, was about status quo. I was psyched at the start, did well easily and sanely earlier in the day, and now that it's 10:00 p.m., I wonder how I'll manage to go on. So, to bed in a few minutes it is. That should help get my mind off it all. Plus, Magic is absolutely driving me crazy. She just goes out back and barks, or stares at me and pants and whines. I don't know what's wrong with her; this has been going on for a week or so. She just doesn't seem to want me to do anything other than be in the same room with her and pay attention to her, even though she doesn't really want to play, doesn't want me to pet her, doesn't need/want food, etc. It's frustrating on a good day, but I'm sure I'm even more ill-tempered right now because I know this dieting crap just will be futile...and/but I at least wanted to take 10 minutes to type something in this diary. So, here's what I ate today:
8:45a 12 oz diet V8 Tropical Blend Splash 15
12:00p 5 almonds (1 Tb.) 60
12:00p 1 can Green Giant asparagus spears 70
1:30p 17 Goldfish mini pretzels 47
throughout afternoon 2 cups green seedless grapes 180
7:30p big tossed salad with:
iceberg lettuce 10
1 small tomato 21
1/2 cucumber 10
1 flat can salmon 120
1/5 bag mini carrots 40
2 Tb Litehouse dressing 130
10:30p 1 Fudgcicle 90
Total:   793

Who else do you know who eats asparagus, salmon, and a fudgcicle in the same day?

Day 2:  Friday, October 25, 2002

It's really Sunday and I didn't keep much track of how I felt, except that at work I was offered cake and it would figure that that would happen the day after I started dieting. And, we had a departmental meeting with pastries and juice and muffins and fruit and I could have had much more than I ended up having (nearly nothing) Murphy's Law of timing! I did track my food, of course, and though tired and ready to come home after work to the habit of fast food for Magic and me, I stuck with it and here's what I had for the day:
8:00a 12 oz diet V8 Berry Blend Splash 15
11:00a 2 bites of honeydew melon 5
2:00p 1 mini box of Corn Flakes 80
3:00p 1 3.75 oz can of sardines in mustard sauce 195
7:30p 1 can Snow's New England Clam Chowder 280
7:30p 12 oz. skim milk in soup 135
later 1 cup Kashi puffed cereal 70
same time 1 tsp. sugar (on the Kashi) 15
Total:   795

Kind of a fishy day, eh? Sardines and clam chowder.

Day 3:  Saturday, October 26, 2002

It's still Sunday and I'm just detailing the food, though I do remember yesterday was somewhat odd (like I am/do) in that I had to get up early to go to Escondido for the revolver match and I didn't want to eat before then, and when I got back it was later than anticipated, so the first thing I ate for the day was at 4:00 in the afternoon, having been up since 7:00a.m. I had a headache, which most of you will say was from the dieting, but since I always get a headache at these matches and especially after standing for like 7 hours, not to mention I almost always have a headache anyway, I know it's not the cause. Actually, any dietician or health professional reading this would be appalled anyway and would contend that this is not the way to diet. These people, however, have also been of zero help in my entire life with this weight battle and I've tried their diets, their programs, their monitoring, their plans, ad nauseum and I continue to hold the personal record of having ONLY ever lost weight counting calories and limiting them to 500, 600, or 800 a day, and NOTHING ELSE has EVER worked. Period. So for all of you thinking what you're thinking, that you know better, etc., just shut the fuck up. (Now there'll be those of you who'll think "the diet is making her grouchy", but bear in mind, I'm just generally grouchy these months anyway (since this summer and the work crap I went through) and what makes me extra grouchy is the know-it-all's who have a metabolism, who can just eat more fruit and lose weight, and/or think they know my body better than I do. That's what I'm grouchy at. At any rate, after my day's shooting, some relaxing in the hot tub, and a brisk evening walk with Magic somewhere in here, here's what I ate for the day:
4:00p 1 cup Kashi puffed cereal 70
5:30p 6 oz. microwaved (with lemon, salt, and pepper only) salmon fillet (unspecified type, so since the pink is almost half the calories as Atlantic, Chinook, or King, and there was an entry for "unspecified type" in my calorie book, I used that figure which was closer to the higher end) 310
same time 1 can French-style seasoned green beans 70
same time 1 cup Uncle Ben's boil-in-bag white rice 190
9:30p 1 Fun Size 3Musketeers bar 70
same time 8 oz. skim milk 90
Total:   800
(The only reason I had the candy bar and the milk was because I had leftover calories!)

Day 4:  Sunday, October 27, 2002

It's been three full days of this dieting and so far so good. I still have my headache from yesterday so all of you who want to attribute it to my dieting can do so. Nonetheless, it's not the case and I know that. It occurred to me that part of the reason I probably always get headaches at the shooting matches is not just the loud noises and being in the sun for so long and being on my feet, but also because in order to avoid having to use the porta-potties, I don't usually drink anything, so not only am I not getting the usual huge amounts of water I drink every day, but I'm also not getting any of the Nutrasweet, and as we all know, withdrawal from that (not caffeine, as some of you are thinking) gives me MASSIVE headaches. I may need to just start drinking a small diet coke before I go to these and take a couple of Excedrin as a precautionary measure. Last night was my favorite night of the year....the one where we turn the clocks back so I get an extra hour of free sleep, but I had the nastiest metal taste in my mouth all night, no matter how much I brushed, flossed, and washed out with Scope, and I just couldn't sleep. Weird, eh? Let's blame it on the dieting. I'm sure someone out there will. I have no idea what this metal taste is all about, and I continue to have it today all day, so maybe it's just some nasty toxin in some of the salmon or sardines I've been consuming lately. If I die of some aquatic parasite, at least this will be some sort of record/hint as to why. :) Here's what I've eaten so far today and plan to for the rest of the day. If I change on the latter, of course I'll modify this to reflect that.
9:30a 8 oz. diet V8 Splash (Berry Blend) 15
12:00p 4 slices diet bread (toasted) 160
same time 2 kinda-scrambled eggs (I've always called them fried, but since they weren't cooked in oil or butter or anything, I'm not sure that's correct) 160
same time 2 slices 2% milk American Cheese 90
same time 1 Tb. ketchup 15
same time 2 strips green pepper (chopped) 5
dinner (later than now, probably around 7:00p) 4 oz. lean veal for scallopini 280
same time 1/2 can asparagus 35
same time small tossed salad w/1 Tb. Fat Free diet dressing 40
Total:   800

Day 5:  Monday, October 28, 2002

What a long day, consumed with thoughts of food and dieting and what I could and couldn't eat, counting calories and adding and re-adding in my head, writing them down and re-checking totals to make sure I didn't go over, etc. I hate that. Makes my life last longer, or at least seem to, as the days just drag, so I suppose there's something to be said for that. Now whether that's actually a good thing or not, I don't know. I suppose it depends on the day and the time I'd be asked to comment. .. So, for the day:
8:30a 16 oz. diet V8 Splash (Berry Blend) 30
10:00a mini box Rice Krispies 90
12:45p 3.75 oz Brunswick sardines in soybean oil no cals on can, but average of websites and calorie books say: 198
2:40p 4 oz. cantaloupe 50
same time 1-1/2 cups salad mix (mostly iceberg lettuce) 15
same time 2 Tb Safeway Select Fat Free Honey Mustard salad dressing 40
en route home around 6:15pish 1 med. Fuji apple 65
7:05p 4 slices diet bread 160
same time 2 slices Butterball roasted chicken 60
same time 2 tsp Miracle Whip and 1 leaf of lettuce 42
10:30p 1/2 can asparagus 35
11:00p 1/3 cherry popcicle (Magic enjoyed the rest!) 15
Total:   exactly 800 again!

Day 6:  Tuesday, October 29, 2002

Really busy at work trying to get a document done and distributed for comments and answers so I can get busy coding. Finished up late afternoon/early evening so decided to go ahead and decorate my cube for Halloween and while Elene was still there, she helped a bit. Ended up staying much later than I'd anticipated, but that kept me from eating anything since I was busy and didn't want to spill on anything. That made it one of those fun occasions that by the time I got home, fed Magic, etc., it was so late that I had lots of calories left and could therefore eat tons of stuff. ("Lots" and "ton" is all relative... on 800 calories a day, that's not much, but in relation to what all I'm eating it seemed like it! So, for the day:
10:45a 1 banana 101
12:15-2:00p 4 cups lettuce mix 40
same time 3 Tb Safeway Select Honey Mustard Fat Free dressing 60
same time 1 flat can Chicken-of-the-Sea tuna packed in water 150
9:15p 1 can Campbell's Select Grilled Chicken soup 200
same time 1 wedge Laughing Cow Light cheese 35
same time 2 slices diet bread 80
same time 2 slices Butterball roasted chicken deli meat 60
same time 1 tsp gourmet honey mustard 15
11:30p 4 Saltines 56
Total:   797

Day 7, end of first week:  Wednesday, October 30, 2002

I wrote down the calories, of course, and intended to write the times and the thoughts in this at the time or at least halfway close to then so I could remember, but all that remains (now Saturday) is the listing of what I ate and the calories. I did, however, go into work early to finish decorating and I went shooting at lunch with Rod and Merrily, who brought and ate lunch in the car, but I didn't eat because I didn't want to. So, here's what I did eat for the day, without times:
12 oz. Berry Blend diet V8 Splash 21
1 banana 101
1 Fuji apple 65
rest of canteloupe 55
1/2 chicken breast 154
1 chicken thigh 118
1 wedge Laughing Cow Light cheese 35
12 saltines 168
1 cup Kashi 70
1/2 tsp. sugar 7
Total:   794

So...end of a successful week of non-stop dieting, with no day over 800 calories!! Just think, that whole-week total is less than the normal person eats in less than three days!