Friends don't let friends take home ugly men...
---Women's restroom, Starboard, Dewey Beach, DE

Remember, it's not, "How high are you?" - it's "Hi, how are you?"
---Rest stop off Route 81, West Virginia

No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of
putting up with her shit.
--Men's Room, Linda's Bar and Grill, Chapel Hill, North Carolina

Make love, not war. --- Hell, do both, get married!
---Women's restroom, The Filling Station, Bozeman, Montana

A Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're
going to have trouble with it.
---Women's restroom, Dick's Last Resort, Dallas,Texas

Watch out for Gay Limbo Dancers
---Inside toilet stall door, Men's restroom

Express Lane: Five beers or less
---Sign over one of the urinals, Ed Debevic's, Beverly

You're too good for him.
---Sign over mirror in Women's restroom, Ed Debevics, Beverly
Hills, CA

No wonder you always go home alone.
---Sign over mirror in Men's restroom, Ed Debevic's, Beverly
Hills, CA

The best way to a man's heart is to saw his breast plate open.
---Women's restroom, Murphy's, Champaign, IL

Beauty is only a light switch away.
---Perkins Library, Duke University, Durham, NorthCarolina

I've decided that to raise my grades I must lower my standards.
---Houghton Library, Harvard University, Cambridge,Massachusetts.

If life is a waste of time, and time is a
waste of life, then let's
all get wasted together and
have the time
of our lives!!
---Armand's Pizza, Washington, D.C.

God made pot. Man made beer. Who do you trust?
---The Irish Times, Washington, D.C.